Finding “Normal” Again

 

I spent some time with my coloring book today 🩷🙏🏼

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what “normal” even means anymore. Life on the road — working, exploring new places, meeting new people — it’s a blessing, but it’s also a reminder that normal looks very different these days.

It’s been over two years since I stepped fully into a holistic lifestyle and began trusting God to lead my healing. And now, living on the other side of cancer — NED  (no evidence of disease)— I find myself still learning what it means to live again.

People talk a lot about surviving cancer… but not as much about what comes after.

When you’re in the middle of the fight, every day has a purpose — juice the carrots, prep the meals, take the supplements, pray, rest, repeat. Your entire focus is on getting well, doing the next right thing, and trusting that somehow, God is going to pull you through.

Then one day, He does.

And suddenly, life is quiet.

You hear those beautiful words — No Evidence of Disease — and everyone celebrates (and you do too!), but deep inside, you realize something’s different. The world around you has kept spinning, but you’re not the same person who entered that battle.

Finding “normal” again hasn’t been easy for me. There’s this space between healing and living where you have to relearn who you are. I thought once I was NED, I could just pick up where I left off. But God had other plans. He didn’t bring me through all that just to go back to the same old life — He brought me through it to make something new.

And I’ve had to lean on Him even harder since then.

Some days, survival can feel lonely. Everyone else seems to have moved on — back to their routines, their plans, their “normal.” But I still find myself in my own head sometimes, overthinking every little ache, pain, or hangnail, wondering what if. It’s an exhausting kind of fear that creeps in quietly and tries to steal my peace. Those are the moments I have to stop and pray — to remind myself that God didn’t bring me this far to abandon me now. He didn’t heal me so I could live in fear; He healed me so I could live in freedom.

In some ways, it was easier when I was in fight mode. My focus was clear — heal, trust, survive. But in the stillness that came after, I realized how much I still needed Jesus… not just to save my life, but to show me how to live it again.

And if I’m being honest, staying on course with my holistic lifestyle hasn’t always been perfect. Sometimes it’s a little bite of something sweet that used to bring comfort, or a small piece of chicken when my body seems to crave more protein. And even though it’s not often, the guilt can hit hard — that quiet voice that whispers, what if this is the thing that makes it come back?

But that’s when I remind myself — I am not healed by perfection. I am healed by grace.  I didn’t get well because I did everything flawlessly; I got well because I trusted the One who made me.

God continues to teach me that peace doesn’t come from following a perfect plan, but from following Him. I can make healthy choices and honor my body, but my faith is what sustains me. My trust is in Jesus — not in food, not in fear.

It’s been a process of releasing that guilt and letting His truth replace my worry. Because the same God who guided me through cancer is still guiding me now — one meal, one prayer, one day at a time.

And that’s where the peace comes in.

Not from going back to “normal,” but from walking forward in faith — with gratitude, with purpose, and with Jesus leading the way.

He is my healer.

He is my strength.

And every single day that I wake up feeling well is another reason to praise Him.

All glory to God.

Always. 🙏🏼

And if you know someone who’s living life beyond cancer — be gentle with them. Check on them. Don’t assume their battle is over just because the treatments have stopped or the scans are clear. Sometimes the hardest fight comes after the healing — the one for peace, for trust, for a “normal” that feels safe again. A simple text, a kind word, or a moment of understanding can mean more than you’ll ever know.

I’ll close with a verse that God has been putting on my heart.

Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV)

You will keep him in perfect peace,

Whose mind is stayed on You,

Because he trusts in You.

Until next time…..keep joy in your mind and in your heart❣️

With love and gratitude, 

Ali 🫶🏼